


At Such Suspension of Judgement

by prettyaveragewhiteshark



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:29:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2014605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyaveragewhiteshark/pseuds/prettyaveragewhiteshark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alison and Beth meet for the first time. One-shot, may or may not evolve into something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Alison was all folded arms and high-strung nerves as she stood stiffly by the lake, waiting for this mystery woman to arrive. She craned her neck, searching for any sign of an arriving car, her fingers taking up their usual impatient position on her cheek. She could feel the coldness of the gun low on her back, strapped tightly into her jeans.

The weapon was just a precaution; she'd had hardly any training with it at all, but she didn't feel safe meeting this stranger in person without some means of personal protection. If it came right down to it, Alison felt sure that she could at least hit a human-sized threat at point blank range. Though she secretly hoped that it did not come right down to it. In hindsight, wearing her favorite white knit sweater for a clandestine meeting with a total stranger was perhaps not the wisest choice.

She huffed an impatient sigh, checking her watch briefly. 10:03.

"Of course she's late," Alison muttered to herself, casting another searching glance through the trees towards where she had parked her own car. "How typical. I take time out of _my_ day, come here to meet a perfect _stranger_ , and then she doesn't even show."

There was a rustling in the trees to her left and Alison whirled, grabbing her gun out of her waistband and pointing it towards the sound.

"Who's there? I'm armed!"

A brown-haired woman emerged, dressed in a black turtleneck and gray trenchcoat. Her hands were lifted defensively, trying to shield herself from the gun's aim.

"Woah, hey! Alison! Put the freaking gun down. It's me, it's Beth."

Alison lowered the weapon a few inches, her mouth falling ever so slightly agape as she took in the appearance of this woman.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," Elizabeth Childs said. "I parked my car on the other side of the lake in case someone followed me."

Alison didn't have the presence of mind to acknowledge the woman's reasonable explanation because she suddenly felt very dizzy and very confused. She blinked rapidly, trying to think back to her mother's explanations about the nature of her adoption, whether there had ever been anything mentioned about a sister, a twin. Nothing was coming to mind.

Beth stood a good several yards away, palms still forward, staring at Alison with a very, very familiar expression. Alison shifted her grip on the weapon, debating about whether or not to raise it again. She settled on taking a few steps back, still holding the gun at an awkward angle like a it was a shield and not a weapon.

"Who are you?" she demanded, her voice shrill. "Why --" she could hardly believe the words coming from her own mouth -- "why do you look like me?"

"Alison," Beth said slowly, soothingly, as though trying to talk down someone standing on the edge of a bridge and ready to jump. "Put the gun away, alright? I get it, this is overwhelming and probably terrifying. But I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise."

She took a few slow steps forward, "I'll explain everything. Put the gun down. Come on."

Alison's arms were shaking but she couldn't make herself lower the weapon. Her mind was reeling; how the hell was she looking at a copy of herself? A copy dressed in much darker, blander clothes, with significantly less regard to the use of makeup, admittedly, but a copy nonetheless.

Beth's gloved hands closed around hers, gently easing the weapon from her grasp. Beth glanced from the gun up to Alison's shocked face, a disturbingly familiar grin making her mouth go crooked. "Just a rule of thumb with guns: if you're planning on shooting someone, you should probably turn the safety off first."

Alison snatched the weapon from her hands, tucking it back into her waistband. "I got it yesterday," she said shortly. "Now if you'd like to stop mocking me and start explaining why we're identical to each other, that would be most appreciated."

"Right. Sorry," Beth nodded, her expression sobering. She put her hands into the pockets of her trenchcoat. "Ah, I'm not really sure how to begin."

"Well we're related, clearly," Alison snapped. "We're twins. That part is obvious."

"Okay, let's start there," Beth said, and her lack of immediate agreement turned Alison's stomach. Beth faltered, then cleared her throat. "I'm not sure how to say this gently, so I'm just gonna say it. We're not twins. We're clones."

The silence in the space between them was deafening. Alison's arms folded. She rested her fingers tightly against her neck, drawing in a deep breath through her nose.

"That's not funny," she finally said, and she was proud that her voice held no hint of a tremor.

Beth gave her a sympathetic look. "It's not a joke."

"Cloning is illegal," Alison said firmly, as if a fact as solid as that would make this woman with her face suddenly disappear.

"It is. But here we are."

"No," Alison said suddenly, turning on her heel and walking towards the lake. She shook her head vigorously. "No, no, you don't get to do this to me." She spun back to face Beth, her finger accusatory, "You can't come in here and ruin my life. This is my life. Who gave you the right--"

"Listen," Beth said loudly, surprisingly uncowed by Alison's outburst. "Someone is killing us. You could be in danger. I wouldn't have contacted you if you weren't."

"Us?" Alison asked brusquely.

"Us, the other clones. There's seven that we know of so far, but three are dead, and it doesn't seem like a coincidence."

Alison shut her eyes tightly, pressing the tips of her fingers to her temples. "This is insane," she whispered furiously. "This isn't real. This isn't happening."

"Look, it's happening, okay?" Beth said angrily. Alison opened her eyes, surprised at the other woman's tone. "This is real. We are real people, and someone is killing us. I'm breaking the law by tracking you down, but I did it because I figured that since you're a human being, you deserve a fighting chance. If you want it, then take it. If not, I'll get out of your hair and you can enjoy whatever's left of your life."

Beth turned and stormed back to the tree line, but just before she disappeared, she hesitated. Her shoulders sagged slightly as the anger seemed to drain out of her. She glanced over her shoulder at Alison. "And if you ever want someone to teach you how to actually use that gun, you have my number."

With that, she was gone, leaving Alison with a head full of questions and not a single answer for any of them.

A good half hour found her still at the lake, sitting stiffly in her car, buckled in and gripping the steering wheel tightly. She shook her head in irritation, then sighed and fished her cell phone from her bag. She opened the directory of recent contacts and pulled up Beth's name. Alison hesitated for a long moment, her thumb hovering over the green 'call' button.

"You can do this, Ali," she said under her breath. "You survived high school cheer team and Donnie's awful mother, this is nothing."

She eased her eyes closed and pressed the button. Bringing the phone up to her ear, she could hear the other line ringing. It only rang twice and then Beth's voice was on the other end.

"That was fast."

"Well," Alison said. "If someone is killing us off there isn't any time to waste, is there?"

"No," Beth said after a pause. "There isn't any time to waste at all."


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright," Alison said, closing both hands around the cup of coffee. She took a deep breath in through her nose, trying to quell her nerves. There was something distinctly unsettling about seeing her own face staring back at her from across the table without the assistance of a mirror, but she knew Beth was right - even in a public place, everyone would just assume that they were twins. Perfectly normal. All the same, Alison had insisted upon meeting in a different city, at least an hour outside of Scarborough, just to be safe. She could hear the smile in Beth's voice when she agreed to the arrangement, probably amused at the extent of Alison's caution.

Now they were sitting in a small coffee shop, facing each other over a two-person table. Beth had dressed in a dark grey sweater, black jeans and boots, and Alison almost felt conspicuous in her matching pink long-sleeve shirt and headband combo. Almost.

"How did you find out about us?" Alison asked. "About -" She glanced around the shop and leaned in slightly, lowering her voice to a whisper - "the  _clones_?"

Beth hardly thought Alison's discretion was necessary - they were the only ones occupying the shop besides the barrister on shift - but she didn't think it wise to comment considering the present state of affairs.

"Someone has contacted me, a German. Her name is Katja Obinger, and she's one of us. Apparently there are others like us in Europe. Or, at least, there were. But they're dead now, and Katja thinks they're being hunted down. I'm still not sure how she found me, but once she did, I did a facial recognition search and I found you and Cosima."

"Wait, Cosima?"

Beth nodded, taking a sip of her coffee, wincing slightly, "Ah, that's hot. Yes, Cosima Niehaus. She's another clone. American. She's a scientist, or she's studying to be one. She's a biological something or other major at the University of Minnesota."

Beth's phone started buzzing from its place on the table. Beth picked up the device, glancing at the screen.

"Well, speak of the devil. One sec, do you mind?" 

Alison waved her hand dismissively.

Beth brought the phone to her ear, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey, Cosima... I'm at coffee with Alison, actually... Alison Hendrix, yeah."

Alison could hear as the volume of Cosima's voice raised in excitement. Beth laughed, and Alison couldn't help but notice how lovely she looked when her face lit up like that. Beth's eyes flickered to Alison, "Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a dream come true for her, honestly. She couldn't be more excited."

Alison lifted her eyebrows slightly and Beth winked. The steady beat of Alison's heart faltered for the briefest of moments and she looked away, smoothing her ponytail, surprised to find herself hiding a shy smile.

_Snap out of it, Ali._

She cleared her throat slightly, sitting up a little straighter, blinking distractedly as she looked out the window. It was a phase, just a phase, like her mother told her. In high school and in college, both mistakes, both very, very secretive. Stolen kisses behind the gymnasium, ones that made her stomach flutter, and long phone calls late at night. And in college, that one night when her roommate was out of town and she lost her virginity to the pretty raven-haired girl from Chemistry 101. Evie, her name was. But then Evie had to move home for a family crisis and she never called the way she promised, and when she returned to school and saw Alison on campus, she acted as though they were perfect strangers.

Alison was heartbroken and one night it was too much to bear and, against her better judgement, she called her mother and sobbed to her about the woman who had betrayed her love. Her mother had been calculated in her response. She didn't condemn Alison, which was more than Alison could ever have expected from her, but she did emphasize that Alison's brief homosexual stint was misguided and foolish and it was a phase that Alison would get over very soon. Then she invited Alison to dinner on Sunday, failing to mention that her old high school flame, Donnie, would be in attendance.

After that, everything was history. Donnie was sweet and kind and soft and majoring in business. He was a perfectly sensible choice, and her mother made no effort to stifle her enthusiasm for them being a couple. Alison put Evie and all the rest of it out of her mind. But now here was Beth Childs, looking unreasonably attractive in her plain grey sweater, making Alison question all kinds of things about her sanity considering Beth essentially  _was_  Alison. But, no...she wasn't. Her expression was freer. She smiled more easily than Alison ever allowed herself to. At the same time, though, she had a strength about her. She was calm where Alison was nervous energy. She was steady.

"Alright, yeah I'll tell her," Beth was saying. "Mhm. Yes, I promise. Okay.  _Okay_ , Cosima. Alright, bye."

She hung up, rolling her eyes. "It's like talking to my mother." She smiled at Alison, "She wanted me to tell you that she says hi. And that she can't believe she's saying hi to her own clone."

"Is she serious?" Alison said incredulously, "She's enjoying this? Not only are we illegal scientific experiments, but someone is killing us off, and she's acting like this is some kind of game."

"I know," Beth said, "I know. It's a little ridiculous. In her defense, though, this is basically a biologist's dream come true."

"Wonderful," Alison said, throwing her hands in the air. "My life is being turned completely on its head, but at least  _someone_  is enjoying themselves."

Beth caught one of her hands, holding it gently but firmly in both of hers. 

"Alison, I'm sorry," she said, looking into Alison's eyes. "I truly am. This is so much all at once. And I know I'm probably not much of a comfort at this point because I'm the one who brought all this mess into your life in the first place, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. And I'm not going to let anyone hurt you or your family. I promise."

Alison stared at her, wide-eyed and a little too surprised to shake Beth's hands off the way she normally would if anyone else had the audacity to touch her with such familiarity. Finally she nodded, her eyes dropping to her cup as Beth released her hands. 

Alison took a sip of her coffee, not meeting Beth's eyes as she set the cup down and absently touched her headband. There was a long moment of silence before she finally looked up. Beth couldn't put a name to the expression that covered Alison's features. 

"Aren't you afraid?" Alison asked suddenly.

Beth sighed, her right shoulder lifting in a small shrug. "I was, for a while. But then I realized that I can't afford to be afraid. I can't be a victim of these circumstances, I have to be stronger than them. And I know it's not all as simple as that but, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do."

Alison nodded, processing the information, before folding her hands in her lap.

"So," she said. "Have you done any investigation with the...the killings?"

Beth nodded, "A little. I have to do more digging but I've picked up some patterns from the killer. Whoever it is, he's highly trained. Could be working for a radical group, based on evidence from the crime scenes. My guess is that he's a religious extremist of some kind. Which would make sense, considering that cloning is seen as an abomination to many  different religious factions."

"He. So it's a male?"

"Most likely," Beth said. "All of the deaths have been characteristic of a sniper's work, and most professional snipers in the world are men."

Beth could see the alarm in Alison's eyes and she continued quickly. "He likely won't be in the country for a while. His last kill was only a few days ago, and the amount of time it would take to get a plane ticket here and track us down gives us at least two weeks. I can make a lot of headway in that time, maybe even find out exactly who this guy is so we can take him out before he even finds out who we are."

Alison smoothed out an invisible wrinkle over her eyebrow. "I have a family, Beth. I have children, a husband. If he  _touches_  them..."

"He won't," Beth said firmly. "I won't let him." 

For some reason, Alison fully believed her.

"But if you want to take extra precautions, I can teach you how to use that gun," Beth offered. "Who knows, maybe you'll be able to get to him before I do."

Alison nodded and took another sip of her coffee, wishing she had brought some of her anxiety pills with her. 

"Great, how does tomorrow sound?" Beth asked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"To teach you to shoot? The sooner the better."

Alison stammered, suddenly overtaken by nerves at the idea of this collected, competent woman showing her how to fire a weapon, a task at which she was woefully incapable.

"I...I can't. My children have soccer practice tomorrow and I'm in charge of refreshments."

"Oh," Beth said. Alison couldn't be sure, but there seemed to be a hint of disappointment in the word.

"I'm available Friday, though," Alison offered. "Donnie is taking the kids to his mother's house. I'd be more than happy to excuse myself from that for an emergency Book Club meeting."

Beth smiled, "Alright. Friday it is."

Alison took a drink of coffee, using the cup to mask the smile that had made an uninvited appearance on her lips. 

As she and Beth parted ways, Alison gave her a firm handshake in what she thought was a suitably professional farewell gesture. Beth had to bite back her smile, nodding cordially so she wouldn't embarrass the other woman.

"Until Friday, then," Alison said formally.

"Yeah, until then."

Beth was about to step off the curb to cross the street when Alison's voice stopped her. She turned back.

"I..." Alison hesitated. "I'm sorry for pointing the gun at you the other day."

Beth laughed then, waving her hand. "It's not the first time that's happened to me. And I guarantee it won't be the last. Just promise you won't do it again? You're more dangerous than you look, Alison Hendrix."

Alison nodded, smiling despite herself at the unexpected compliment. As she climbed into her own car, she checked herself in the rear view mirror and found that her cheeks were flushed.

"Pull yourself together, Ali," she muttered, buckling her seat belt. "She's just a clone."

But she found herself watching Beth's black jaguar pull away and wondering whether these fluttering nerves were going to take up permanent residence in her stomach all the way to Friday.


End file.
